... and I'm unsure of how I really feel about it. Tonight, I'll meet a friend who is going to doggysit Chikletz for me. The day I leave, I'll take Ingo & Muffin to the vets, to be kenneled for the duration. Must call my neighbor, to remind them about tending the outside dogs for me. Got the cats squared away, so they should be good.
Last week, I finally brought Spouse's remains home. The funeral home put his ashes in a plastic bag, that was inside another plastic bag, then in a cardboard box. Yep, just a plain old, brown, cardboard box. I was none to comfortable with the idea of transporting my beloved's remains in such a flimsy box, so I searched the house for something more suitable, more... him. Finally, my eyes flashed past some old, military ammo boxes that Spouse kept his ammo in. *d'uh* I emptied a smaller ammo box of it's shells and put the plastic bags that held Spouse inside. Perfect fit, a sturdy box that I believe he would have appreciated as a temporary urn. That ammo box is now safely tucked away inside my nearly packed suitcase.
The plan is to take the train to Washington, where a friend will meet me at the station. I'll be staying with this friend and will be able to use an old beater pickup truck of his. On Saturday, April 19th, in the afternoon, there will be a memorial service/pot luck luncheon in a big hall. Following the memorial service/pot luck, the Whatcom County chapter of Combat Veterans International (CVI) will provide a motorcycle Honor Guard to the place where I and a few others will board the sailboat, which will take us to the place where my husband wished for his remains to be scattered. Hopefully, the weather will be kind for smooth sailing, otherwise, we'll be driving to the place and I'll have to figure out another way to get his ashes out to the sea.
You may not hear from me for awhile, at least until I return. You kids be good, while I'm gadding about on this final chapter of life with my beloved. I'll miss ya.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Okay, So I'm Not Johnny Depp
Still, I enjoyed a lovely walk across my back yard, fields, through my trees and to the cornfields behind my home a couple of days ago. I'd been standing out on my deck and realized the Canadian Geese and the Snow Geese were flying overhead, with their destination being the field right behind my place. After trying to figure out how to use the movie feature on my digital camera, I thought I'd give an attempt to film the many geese in that field and the embedded flick is the result of my feeble attempts.
Hope you enjoy it! Note: some strong language, so you might want to make sure the kids are elsewhere in the home. It's a 6 minute vid, too, so it may take awhile to load for those on dial-up... sorry. Grab some popcorn and take a walk on the wild side with me...
Hope you enjoy it! Note: some strong language, so you might want to make sure the kids are elsewhere in the home. It's a 6 minute vid, too, so it may take awhile to load for those on dial-up... sorry. Grab some popcorn and take a walk on the wild side with me...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Stick a Fork In Me...
I'm done. My family is done.
My heart feels raw, from the losses our family has endured since Spouse passed away in December. Yes, his death impacted me in a far greater way than it did my siblings and children, but they mourned his absence, too. It made for a subdued holiday season for all of us. I am grateful to have had their support, especially during the holidays.
It didn't help that we here, at efxblogs2, lost a champion for those who face challenges, our CabinFever/Elaine. No, that didn't effect/affect my family, but they did respect my sorrow and that I miss this online friend.
In mid-February, my ex-MIL fell and broke her neck. She was a wonderful woman, a friend whom I loved dearly, even after the many years that her son & I divorced. Right after the divorce, in fact, she insisted that my daughter & I stay with her & "Grandpa John", until we got on our feet. She babysat for me, for free, until I found gainful employment and found an apartment. She & her husband even "adopted" my son, who had a different dad, as a "grandson", simply because he was related to me & his half-sis. That's just the kind of good soul she was. Anyway, she was taken to the hospital and had surgery, which went well in the mending of her broken neck. (basically, from what I was told, she sort of popped her noggin off of the spine, but didn't sever any nerves... they only had to screw her head back on) My daughter flew to be with her precious Grandma and to offer help with whatever, so she was with her Dad and his new family (more good peeps, really) when things turned sour, following the surgery. She suffered a stroke and went to join her husband's spirit a couple of days after the surgery. Maybe I blogged about this - I didn't look and can't recall. If I have, here's where I'll remind folks that this incredible woman actually died twice. She was pronounced dead on one day, after she had flatlined for a full 40 minutes, but when the attendant/nurse removed a tube from her throat, she began breathing again. Of course, this meant she was now in a vegetative state and had she not finally passed again, the next day, would have never recovered. My daughter was devastated when she lost her only surviving grandparent. This grandma adored her grandkids, but there was a special bond between her first (my daughter) and her. I didn't go to the funeral, because of many factors, but that did not lessen my feelings of loss. I count having been loved by such a woman a true blessings and celebrate the friendship that continued for these many years. It still felt like a "crappy hand" to be dealt, so soon after Spouse's departure.
Last week, my Son-in-Law's grandfather died. This man was a tremendous influence on my SIL, as he grew. This man taught my SIL how to treat women (the right way), how to fish, how to do many things - most of all, how to be a good person. From the moment he met my daughter, she was "his favorite grand-daughter". His death, like Spouse's, was not sudden or unexpected and he is now free from the pain he endured for a long time. While his passing has not immediately impacted me, it still has touched my heart, because my daughter & SIL loved him deeply. Their world has been tossed upside down in losing two beloved grandparents within exactly one month. My heart breaks for them, and the rest of my SIL's family.
This morning, I telephoned my sis in Michigan. Her husband's dad, has been dealing with some progressive illness for the past few years. He's been on oxygen for the past year and could not breath without it. Yes, he was a smoker and when his condition was diagnosed, he refused to give up his smokes, since, well... it wouldn't have extended his longevity at that point. I've met this man and really grew to care for him and considered him just as much family as my BIL. When I would call over to his house, to yak with my sis, he would answer and he always was able to make me laugh. It never failed to tickle me, when he'd mention how happy he was that I called and how I was looking Really Good that day. :) Yeah, it happened and my BIL & his sister who had recently moved there to help with their dad are taking this soo hard. I can easily understand why, after learning about the ambulance fiasco of last evening.
Their dad began showing signs of weary, unresponsive to them when they tended to him. So, they decided to call an ambulance, so they could have a doctor see him. Bear in mind, their dad had a DNR in place and wanted to die at home, which is why they hesitated to take him to a hospital - this shared, just so the reader understands. So - with that clarified - the ambulance comes and my sister tells me it was like watching an old 3 Stooges flick. While the majority of the ambulance crew came into the house, tripping over each other and dropping equipment, etc..., the driver decided to turn the ambulance around, so it would be facing the street and loading the patient might be easier. His home is very rural and the driveway is long, with muddy areas on either side of the asphalt. Anyway, the imbeciles in the house finally got him loaded into the ambulance and they began to leave for the hospital.
For whatever unknown logic that driver used, she took off down the driveway, toward the road and wound up sinking half of the ambulance in the mud on one side. The more she tried to back out of the mud, the deeper it sank, until the ambulance was on the verge of tipping over. In the back of the ambulance, the patient & gurney were laying on their side (which means the damn gurney tipped over, with a very sick man strapped to it!), while the ambulance crew was outside, trying to push, heave ho and argue about the best way to get the vehicle unstuck from the muck. Imagine my BIL's horror & disbelief when the chief of this crew asked him for a flashlight! Uhmmm, I'm not an expert, but I assumed a flashlight would be a basic piece of equipment in an ambulance. You know, seeing as they sometimes have to respond to wrecks and whathaveyou in the dark and all. *rolls eyes*
I'm unsure of how long the dingleberrybrains fudged around with the ambulance in the quagmire, but I do know they insisted my BIL go find some wooden boards to put under the tires, hoping they'd be able to push the rig onto the boards and get back on the asphalt. My BIL told them THAT would not work (speaking from his own personal experience), but the chief (gruff old geezer with 'tude) wasn't budging from what he believed was right. While the Chief had the gall to stand outside the sinking ambulance, with a critical patient strapped to a overturned gurney inside, the clock continued to tick - tick - tick. Finally, after BIL located a flashlight (apparently, it's vital for every patient to be sure they have one handy, in case of night emergencies) in his dad's house and then searched for some hopefully adequate boards in the garage and they got them wedged under the ambulance and THAT failed, the Chief decided to call in for another ambulance. Another ambulance that had to make the twenty minute trek from town to the location of the first one. A tow truck was also dispatched and it's only a minor miracle that it didn't block in the second ambulance.
The crews got their patient uprighted again on the gurney and transferred to the second rig, which backed out of the driveway, no trouble at all. Finally, FINALLY! they sped off into the darkness, toward the hospital. Now, all my BIL & his sis had to do was wait for the first ambulance to get the flock out of the way of his car, which was up by the house, of course. Would anyone be stunned to learn the Chief (must have been a real genius, this guy) had the audacity to get out of the ambulance and waste even more of my BIL's precious time, by arguing that the car could easily navigate around the sunken vessel. Uhmmm, my BIL has been taking care of that driveway for the past 3+ years and he knows whether he'd get stuck on the other side of the asphalt if he tried this maneuver or not. Yeah? So? That's how the Chief responded, in his ever so adult (bites tongue) manner. Yes, kids, the man stood his ground (actually it was his patient's ground, but it would be easy for any newcomer to the scene to assume differently), and raved on & on, until the tow truck arrived. I asked my sister whether it was a professional ambulance service or a squad of local good 'ol boy volunteers, and learned the service is a combination of both. The Chief, the man in charge, was the requisite professional on the first crew of comedians who (mis)handled the patient/ambulance mess.
The tow truck finally came, a short while after the second ambulance departed and got that heathen crew out of the muck, so BIL & his sis could finally head to the hospital. Fortunately, they made it there in time, so their father wasn't "alone" when he took his last breath. Again, I am empathizing with their loss and realizing there shall be no more of those fun telephone chats with him. I am grateful that life provided me the opportunity to know his friendship these past few years. My heart breaks for my BIL, my sister and his sister, knowing all too well many of the thoughts that are going through their minds now & in the months to come. They were caregivers and there was no Hospice help, which makes it all the more easier to guess how hard this must be for them.
On a personal note, despite these recent losses, I am doing much better. Over the flu, finally got a check from the VA yesterday that will help at least cover the house payment & utilities and the snow has nearly all melted. A friend called a while ago, today, and told me that all that has gone on was related to the Lunar eclipse in February. He also said that we're (everyone who lives on earth) will soon be seeing this "horrid wtf is going on????" end, since we're on the tail end of those astro-influences.
Shit gold, Bubba. I hope so. Stick a fork in us. We're done.
My heart feels raw, from the losses our family has endured since Spouse passed away in December. Yes, his death impacted me in a far greater way than it did my siblings and children, but they mourned his absence, too. It made for a subdued holiday season for all of us. I am grateful to have had their support, especially during the holidays.
It didn't help that we here, at efxblogs2, lost a champion for those who face challenges, our CabinFever/Elaine. No, that didn't effect/affect my family, but they did respect my sorrow and that I miss this online friend.
In mid-February, my ex-MIL fell and broke her neck. She was a wonderful woman, a friend whom I loved dearly, even after the many years that her son & I divorced. Right after the divorce, in fact, she insisted that my daughter & I stay with her & "Grandpa John", until we got on our feet. She babysat for me, for free, until I found gainful employment and found an apartment. She & her husband even "adopted" my son, who had a different dad, as a "grandson", simply because he was related to me & his half-sis. That's just the kind of good soul she was. Anyway, she was taken to the hospital and had surgery, which went well in the mending of her broken neck. (basically, from what I was told, she sort of popped her noggin off of the spine, but didn't sever any nerves... they only had to screw her head back on) My daughter flew to be with her precious Grandma and to offer help with whatever, so she was with her Dad and his new family (more good peeps, really) when things turned sour, following the surgery. She suffered a stroke and went to join her husband's spirit a couple of days after the surgery. Maybe I blogged about this - I didn't look and can't recall. If I have, here's where I'll remind folks that this incredible woman actually died twice. She was pronounced dead on one day, after she had flatlined for a full 40 minutes, but when the attendant/nurse removed a tube from her throat, she began breathing again. Of course, this meant she was now in a vegetative state and had she not finally passed again, the next day, would have never recovered. My daughter was devastated when she lost her only surviving grandparent. This grandma adored her grandkids, but there was a special bond between her first (my daughter) and her. I didn't go to the funeral, because of many factors, but that did not lessen my feelings of loss. I count having been loved by such a woman a true blessings and celebrate the friendship that continued for these many years. It still felt like a "crappy hand" to be dealt, so soon after Spouse's departure.
Last week, my Son-in-Law's grandfather died. This man was a tremendous influence on my SIL, as he grew. This man taught my SIL how to treat women (the right way), how to fish, how to do many things - most of all, how to be a good person. From the moment he met my daughter, she was "his favorite grand-daughter". His death, like Spouse's, was not sudden or unexpected and he is now free from the pain he endured for a long time. While his passing has not immediately impacted me, it still has touched my heart, because my daughter & SIL loved him deeply. Their world has been tossed upside down in losing two beloved grandparents within exactly one month. My heart breaks for them, and the rest of my SIL's family.
This morning, I telephoned my sis in Michigan. Her husband's dad, has been dealing with some progressive illness for the past few years. He's been on oxygen for the past year and could not breath without it. Yes, he was a smoker and when his condition was diagnosed, he refused to give up his smokes, since, well... it wouldn't have extended his longevity at that point. I've met this man and really grew to care for him and considered him just as much family as my BIL. When I would call over to his house, to yak with my sis, he would answer and he always was able to make me laugh. It never failed to tickle me, when he'd mention how happy he was that I called and how I was looking Really Good that day. :) Yeah, it happened and my BIL & his sister who had recently moved there to help with their dad are taking this soo hard. I can easily understand why, after learning about the ambulance fiasco of last evening.
Their dad began showing signs of weary, unresponsive to them when they tended to him. So, they decided to call an ambulance, so they could have a doctor see him. Bear in mind, their dad had a DNR in place and wanted to die at home, which is why they hesitated to take him to a hospital - this shared, just so the reader understands. So - with that clarified - the ambulance comes and my sister tells me it was like watching an old 3 Stooges flick. While the majority of the ambulance crew came into the house, tripping over each other and dropping equipment, etc..., the driver decided to turn the ambulance around, so it would be facing the street and loading the patient might be easier. His home is very rural and the driveway is long, with muddy areas on either side of the asphalt. Anyway, the imbeciles in the house finally got him loaded into the ambulance and they began to leave for the hospital.
For whatever unknown logic that driver used, she took off down the driveway, toward the road and wound up sinking half of the ambulance in the mud on one side. The more she tried to back out of the mud, the deeper it sank, until the ambulance was on the verge of tipping over. In the back of the ambulance, the patient & gurney were laying on their side (which means the damn gurney tipped over, with a very sick man strapped to it!), while the ambulance crew was outside, trying to push, heave ho and argue about the best way to get the vehicle unstuck from the muck. Imagine my BIL's horror & disbelief when the chief of this crew asked him for a flashlight! Uhmmm, I'm not an expert, but I assumed a flashlight would be a basic piece of equipment in an ambulance. You know, seeing as they sometimes have to respond to wrecks and whathaveyou in the dark and all. *rolls eyes*
I'm unsure of how long the dingleberrybrains fudged around with the ambulance in the quagmire, but I do know they insisted my BIL go find some wooden boards to put under the tires, hoping they'd be able to push the rig onto the boards and get back on the asphalt. My BIL told them THAT would not work (speaking from his own personal experience), but the chief (gruff old geezer with 'tude) wasn't budging from what he believed was right. While the Chief had the gall to stand outside the sinking ambulance, with a critical patient strapped to a overturned gurney inside, the clock continued to tick - tick - tick. Finally, after BIL located a flashlight (apparently, it's vital for every patient to be sure they have one handy, in case of night emergencies) in his dad's house and then searched for some hopefully adequate boards in the garage and they got them wedged under the ambulance and THAT failed, the Chief decided to call in for another ambulance. Another ambulance that had to make the twenty minute trek from town to the location of the first one. A tow truck was also dispatched and it's only a minor miracle that it didn't block in the second ambulance.
The crews got their patient uprighted again on the gurney and transferred to the second rig, which backed out of the driveway, no trouble at all. Finally, FINALLY! they sped off into the darkness, toward the hospital. Now, all my BIL & his sis had to do was wait for the first ambulance to get the flock out of the way of his car, which was up by the house, of course. Would anyone be stunned to learn the Chief (must have been a real genius, this guy) had the audacity to get out of the ambulance and waste even more of my BIL's precious time, by arguing that the car could easily navigate around the sunken vessel. Uhmmm, my BIL has been taking care of that driveway for the past 3+ years and he knows whether he'd get stuck on the other side of the asphalt if he tried this maneuver or not. Yeah? So? That's how the Chief responded, in his ever so adult (bites tongue) manner. Yes, kids, the man stood his ground (actually it was his patient's ground, but it would be easy for any newcomer to the scene to assume differently), and raved on & on, until the tow truck arrived. I asked my sister whether it was a professional ambulance service or a squad of local good 'ol boy volunteers, and learned the service is a combination of both. The Chief, the man in charge, was the requisite professional on the first crew of comedians who (mis)handled the patient/ambulance mess.
The tow truck finally came, a short while after the second ambulance departed and got that heathen crew out of the muck, so BIL & his sis could finally head to the hospital. Fortunately, they made it there in time, so their father wasn't "alone" when he took his last breath. Again, I am empathizing with their loss and realizing there shall be no more of those fun telephone chats with him. I am grateful that life provided me the opportunity to know his friendship these past few years. My heart breaks for my BIL, my sister and his sister, knowing all too well many of the thoughts that are going through their minds now & in the months to come. They were caregivers and there was no Hospice help, which makes it all the more easier to guess how hard this must be for them.
On a personal note, despite these recent losses, I am doing much better. Over the flu, finally got a check from the VA yesterday that will help at least cover the house payment & utilities and the snow has nearly all melted. A friend called a while ago, today, and told me that all that has gone on was related to the Lunar eclipse in February. He also said that we're (everyone who lives on earth) will soon be seeing this "horrid wtf is going on????" end, since we're on the tail end of those astro-influences.
Shit gold, Bubba. I hope so. Stick a fork in us. We're done.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
*Requires 2 12-volt batteries... not included*
Well, so far, it looks as if I will survive that nasty cold/flu bug that laid me horizontal for nearly a week. It's been ages since I've allowed myself the pleasure of being that sick and I hope it's a long, long time before I do anything as foolish again! My body put me through a myriad of tempuratures, ranging anywhere between 102.6*F to 96.1*F at any given moment. I ran internal fevers when my skin felt icy to the touch to sweating profusely and having to change jammies twice in a ten minute period. *eeeeeeyyyeeeewwwww*
The most strength I could muster, was enough to get to the mailbox each day, because I was expecting some meds by mail and feeding my outside doggies. Everything else went on hold, basically. I did call my neighbors one day, asking if they might pick up a rack of Sierra Mist and a box of fortune cookies for me. They did, dropped them at my door and fled, per my request, because I surely didn't want them exposed to what I was enduring. Cooking was out of the question, since that required standing for a longer interval than my brain could tolerate. So, I survived on water, the Sierra Mist and the fortune cookies, except for the two grapefruits, one cup-o-soup and one Top Ramen that I managed to fix while my fever was lower. I lost a total of 21 pounds in one week. Kind of a crazy way to lose weight, but I can spare more, so will take it as a blessing.
Day before yesterday, I woke up, feeling much better than I had in days and my temp was nearly normal. What a wonderful feeling! I must admit, I was feeling quite scared for a couple of those days, because I was so weak, it was all I could do to get to the bathroom to even pee, let alone refill my water bottle. I'm still fairly weak, but gaining strength back daily, while trying to not overdo anything.
So, yesterday, I decided I was feeling well enough to run to town, do a couple of errands and maybe get a little take-out or a pizza to munch on for a meal or three. I got dressed, went out to the garage and clicked on the remote for the garage door. Still standing outside in the warm 20-ish temps, I heard the gears begin working, then a horrid screech and crunch of metal and plastic crunching and tearing. The gizmos attached to the top panel of the door pulled away from the garage door, leaving a gaping hold where it once had been attached. All I could think or say was, "Oh shit!" My vehicle is stuck in the garage and there is no way I can fix this alone. I'm going to have to call a pro in to fix that top panel or replace the door. *grumble.. grumble*
So, I went ahead and fed my dogs and bundled up for the trek to town. I HAD to get to the post office, to get a check off to the bank, so my house payment would be covered on time! Had I not been so sick, I would have mailed it sooner & not worried. Oh well, I figured the 4 mile walk would do me some good. After walking about a quarter to half a mile down the lonely, quiet dirt road, I reached the end of my property, where the trees end and the open prairies begin. We're talking about wind now, kids, lots & lots of S. Dakota wind. Um, okay, so maybe I wasn't as bundled as I originally believed. I turned around and began walking back toward home, not wishing to be a topic of interest on the evening news. Heck, it might be days before anyone found my body, since my neighbors are in Minnesota right now.
My garage is a two car number, unattached and has a nice little workshop area. There's a bunch of things that Spouse had piled on one side, like the industrial lathe that's on two sawhorses. I cannot move that puppy a mm, let alone an inch! It took 4 strapping young men to move it to where it still sits. It's also blocking the entrance to the other bay of the garage. I did think I might be able to maneuver my Jeep past it, however, if I were able to get the old woodstove moved over enough, and I shoved those shelves a little further that way.... so I set about pushing, shoving, sliding and grunting the objects until I thought there would be enough space to get the car safely past them.
Then I opened the door, jumped into my Jeep and turned the key. WTF????? I turned the key again. The battery is deader than a doornail. That Jeep ain't going nowhere, not for awhile! So, here I am, snug in my little house on the prairies, owner of two vehicles that both have dead batteries. Without one or two new 12-volt blocks to charge my trusty steeds, I'm not going for any joyrides soon. And you know what? I feel perfectly fine with that. It's really okay, today.
The way I am choosing to view this minor inconvenience, is that the Universe seems to want me to stay home and be safe. Yep, after I went back into the house, I answered a phone call from a dear friend and she told me about her sister, who was just going into surgery for a fractured hip. No sooner had I gotten off the phone with her and I was chatting for a minute with my neighbor's, who are in MN because her dad fell and broke his hip. He had just gotten out of surgery. Whoa! That's two broken hips in less than an hour that I heard about. I am choosing to believe the Universe was protecting me from injury, by keeping my Jeep stuck where it sits.
I have to believe that everything is going to be okay and all will happen when it is supposed to. I am refusing to surrender to negative thoughts and energy!!! Been down that road before and it only attracts more negative crap & I choose to be happy, even if my garage door is broken and the cars won't start. There are plenty of projects I can tackle here, enough food to last me until the snow melts (assuming it will melt before April) and if I run out of smokes, that won't be a bad thing either. I've managed to lose 35 pounds since Spouse died and that's a good start on my reclaiming my own health. These minor challenges with the vehicles and garage are temporary and I know it will all work out, when it is supposed to. Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy each day and do what needs to be done.
Anyone up for a game of Scrabble? :D
The most strength I could muster, was enough to get to the mailbox each day, because I was expecting some meds by mail and feeding my outside doggies. Everything else went on hold, basically. I did call my neighbors one day, asking if they might pick up a rack of Sierra Mist and a box of fortune cookies for me. They did, dropped them at my door and fled, per my request, because I surely didn't want them exposed to what I was enduring. Cooking was out of the question, since that required standing for a longer interval than my brain could tolerate. So, I survived on water, the Sierra Mist and the fortune cookies, except for the two grapefruits, one cup-o-soup and one Top Ramen that I managed to fix while my fever was lower. I lost a total of 21 pounds in one week. Kind of a crazy way to lose weight, but I can spare more, so will take it as a blessing.
Day before yesterday, I woke up, feeling much better than I had in days and my temp was nearly normal. What a wonderful feeling! I must admit, I was feeling quite scared for a couple of those days, because I was so weak, it was all I could do to get to the bathroom to even pee, let alone refill my water bottle. I'm still fairly weak, but gaining strength back daily, while trying to not overdo anything.
So, yesterday, I decided I was feeling well enough to run to town, do a couple of errands and maybe get a little take-out or a pizza to munch on for a meal or three. I got dressed, went out to the garage and clicked on the remote for the garage door. Still standing outside in the warm 20-ish temps, I heard the gears begin working, then a horrid screech and crunch of metal and plastic crunching and tearing. The gizmos attached to the top panel of the door pulled away from the garage door, leaving a gaping hold where it once had been attached. All I could think or say was, "Oh shit!" My vehicle is stuck in the garage and there is no way I can fix this alone. I'm going to have to call a pro in to fix that top panel or replace the door. *grumble.. grumble*
So, I went ahead and fed my dogs and bundled up for the trek to town. I HAD to get to the post office, to get a check off to the bank, so my house payment would be covered on time! Had I not been so sick, I would have mailed it sooner & not worried. Oh well, I figured the 4 mile walk would do me some good. After walking about a quarter to half a mile down the lonely, quiet dirt road, I reached the end of my property, where the trees end and the open prairies begin. We're talking about wind now, kids, lots & lots of S. Dakota wind. Um, okay, so maybe I wasn't as bundled as I originally believed. I turned around and began walking back toward home, not wishing to be a topic of interest on the evening news. Heck, it might be days before anyone found my body, since my neighbors are in Minnesota right now.
My garage is a two car number, unattached and has a nice little workshop area. There's a bunch of things that Spouse had piled on one side, like the industrial lathe that's on two sawhorses. I cannot move that puppy a mm, let alone an inch! It took 4 strapping young men to move it to where it still sits. It's also blocking the entrance to the other bay of the garage. I did think I might be able to maneuver my Jeep past it, however, if I were able to get the old woodstove moved over enough, and I shoved those shelves a little further that way.... so I set about pushing, shoving, sliding and grunting the objects until I thought there would be enough space to get the car safely past them.
Then I opened the door, jumped into my Jeep and turned the key. WTF????? I turned the key again. The battery is deader than a doornail. That Jeep ain't going nowhere, not for awhile! So, here I am, snug in my little house on the prairies, owner of two vehicles that both have dead batteries. Without one or two new 12-volt blocks to charge my trusty steeds, I'm not going for any joyrides soon. And you know what? I feel perfectly fine with that. It's really okay, today.
The way I am choosing to view this minor inconvenience, is that the Universe seems to want me to stay home and be safe. Yep, after I went back into the house, I answered a phone call from a dear friend and she told me about her sister, who was just going into surgery for a fractured hip. No sooner had I gotten off the phone with her and I was chatting for a minute with my neighbor's, who are in MN because her dad fell and broke his hip. He had just gotten out of surgery. Whoa! That's two broken hips in less than an hour that I heard about. I am choosing to believe the Universe was protecting me from injury, by keeping my Jeep stuck where it sits.
I have to believe that everything is going to be okay and all will happen when it is supposed to. I am refusing to surrender to negative thoughts and energy!!! Been down that road before and it only attracts more negative crap & I choose to be happy, even if my garage door is broken and the cars won't start. There are plenty of projects I can tackle here, enough food to last me until the snow melts (assuming it will melt before April) and if I run out of smokes, that won't be a bad thing either. I've managed to lose 35 pounds since Spouse died and that's a good start on my reclaiming my own health. These minor challenges with the vehicles and garage are temporary and I know it will all work out, when it is supposed to. Meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy each day and do what needs to be done.
Anyone up for a game of Scrabble? :D
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The 4-legged TV tuner
This past week, I realized that perhaps we've begun to develop some habits here, which are effecting poor, little Muffin, my Chihuahua. Take yesterday, for example... I was on the phone, talking with the lady who works for the census peeps. Around 3pm, Muffin began barking in another room and didn't stop. At first, I thought maybe he was at the kitchen door, barking at the cats in the mudroom. It wouldn't be the first time. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of his incessant yapping, I stepped away from the computer and carried the phone into the other bedroom, where Muffin was sitting on my bed, barking his fool head off at Dr. Phil. We generally watch the Ellen Degeneres show at 3, and all I could figure out was that Muffin didn't want to view Dr. Phil. I changed the channels on the television, to Ellen, and he calmed down and watched her show. Weird dog!
Earlier today, he was barking again, I guess because the wrong soap opera was on. Not that I watch the soaps much, but I do sometimes leave the tv on, just so the house doesn't seem so empty. I switched channels again, to the soap that is usually on and he settled down, again staring contentedly at the idiot box.
Right now, I'm sitting in the front bedroom, where my pc is, and I can hear him bitching out Conan O'Brian. How dare he be on Muffin's tv, when everyone should know, by now, that he prefers Craig's delightful accent? The nerve!
Chikki has acted a wee bit strange, now and again, too, recently. The other night, we were all in bed and I was watching something or the other on tv. Chikki uttered a low growl and stared a hole through the closet door. I asked her what was up and she turned her gaze right back to the corner of the room and the closet door. Mind you, there wasn't anything there. Nothing different, that hasn't been there for a few weeks. A couple of times, she has jumped off the bed and stood in front of the doorway to the bedroom and her hackles have risen. I can't count how many times they have leaped from the bed, barking as if an intruder was in the house. They start it and get the outside dogs going, then everyone is in a frenzy. But there's nothing and nobody there... the dogs are just being weird.
There's been a couple of other strange things, items "falling" off the counter or table, a certain noise that is only made when someone steps on a particular floorboard waking me from sleep *and the dogs are still on the bed with me*, little odd things like that. Maybe it's the winter cabin fever getting to me, I dunno. Anyhow, Muffin just came in to check on me, probably wondering why I don't get my arse in the other room and change that darned channel. Bossy little fudgebomber!
BTW - whoever gave me this 3rd edition of the cold/flu can have it back, thank you. Thank goodness I had some Dayquil in the house - my skin, my hair and my eyeballs hurt, but my temp is raging at 97.1*F. Go figure, I feel like I'm burning up, but it's basically no different than a hot flash. :( Send chicken soup, please. I'm going back to bed, as soon as I change channels for Muffin.
Earlier today, he was barking again, I guess because the wrong soap opera was on. Not that I watch the soaps much, but I do sometimes leave the tv on, just so the house doesn't seem so empty. I switched channels again, to the soap that is usually on and he settled down, again staring contentedly at the idiot box.
Right now, I'm sitting in the front bedroom, where my pc is, and I can hear him bitching out Conan O'Brian. How dare he be on Muffin's tv, when everyone should know, by now, that he prefers Craig's delightful accent? The nerve!
Chikki has acted a wee bit strange, now and again, too, recently. The other night, we were all in bed and I was watching something or the other on tv. Chikki uttered a low growl and stared a hole through the closet door. I asked her what was up and she turned her gaze right back to the corner of the room and the closet door. Mind you, there wasn't anything there. Nothing different, that hasn't been there for a few weeks. A couple of times, she has jumped off the bed and stood in front of the doorway to the bedroom and her hackles have risen. I can't count how many times they have leaped from the bed, barking as if an intruder was in the house. They start it and get the outside dogs going, then everyone is in a frenzy. But there's nothing and nobody there... the dogs are just being weird.
There's been a couple of other strange things, items "falling" off the counter or table, a certain noise that is only made when someone steps on a particular floorboard waking me from sleep *and the dogs are still on the bed with me*, little odd things like that. Maybe it's the winter cabin fever getting to me, I dunno. Anyhow, Muffin just came in to check on me, probably wondering why I don't get my arse in the other room and change that darned channel. Bossy little fudgebomber!
BTW - whoever gave me this 3rd edition of the cold/flu can have it back, thank you. Thank goodness I had some Dayquil in the house - my skin, my hair and my eyeballs hurt, but my temp is raging at 97.1*F. Go figure, I feel like I'm burning up, but it's basically no different than a hot flash. :( Send chicken soup, please. I'm going back to bed, as soon as I change channels for Muffin.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Ninja Grandma
Today is another bittersweet day for me. I got word, last week, that my ex-MIL had fallen, breaking her neck. She survived that injury and went in to surgery on Friday. Yesterday evening, she flat-lined, was pronounced and a half-hour later, while the nurse was disconnecting the machines, she had a pulse again. My son sent me a text message, declaring Grandma B was a ninja, cheating death. This morning, however, she finally is at peace, pain-free and in a far, far better place. Damn, I'm sure going to miss her. A lot.
She was one of the best people I've ever had the privilege to know and love. Even after her son & I divorced, she insisted that I would always be family, no matter what. Her life was a hard one, but she dealt with each challenge without faltering. She never had a lot of money, but she was generous with whatever she had, often going without if it meant someone else might be blessed. Rarely, did I hear her complain about her lot in life, when it would be simple to go that route. Instead, she tried to maintain a positive outlook on things, which was more inspiring than I think she ever realized.
These past few years, her health hasn't been all that great and she had severe arthritis in nearly every joint. When we spoke on the phone, she'd mention whether it was flaring up, but then changed the subject as quickly as she could to better, brighter topics. I wish I was half the wonderful woman that she has been. When it comes to getting MILs, I was incredibly blessed, because I also got a dear friend. My heart breaks for her sons, her grandchildren and the many people in their community who shall mourn her passing. I'm still a bit numb, but not surprised, after hearing about her injury. I think she was tired and ready to join Grandpa B. She often spoke of how much she missed him, still after the years he's been gone.
Damn straight, I'm going to the funeral, whenever that shall be, in Oklahoma. There's a blizzard going on right now, with 2-5 feet of snow predicted. Definitely not leaving today, but as soon as I know what the plans are for the family, my plan is to be there for a final farewell and try to support the family in whatever way possible. I'll probably stay in touch with Treasa &/or Etainne, to keep ya'll posted, once I'm on the road.
With that, kids - if ya got 'em, go hug your mother & MIL. Every hug counts and someday, you'll be glad that you did.
*Note to Death: that's 3, so leave me the fuc alone!*
She was one of the best people I've ever had the privilege to know and love. Even after her son & I divorced, she insisted that I would always be family, no matter what. Her life was a hard one, but she dealt with each challenge without faltering. She never had a lot of money, but she was generous with whatever she had, often going without if it meant someone else might be blessed. Rarely, did I hear her complain about her lot in life, when it would be simple to go that route. Instead, she tried to maintain a positive outlook on things, which was more inspiring than I think she ever realized.
These past few years, her health hasn't been all that great and she had severe arthritis in nearly every joint. When we spoke on the phone, she'd mention whether it was flaring up, but then changed the subject as quickly as she could to better, brighter topics. I wish I was half the wonderful woman that she has been. When it comes to getting MILs, I was incredibly blessed, because I also got a dear friend. My heart breaks for her sons, her grandchildren and the many people in their community who shall mourn her passing. I'm still a bit numb, but not surprised, after hearing about her injury. I think she was tired and ready to join Grandpa B. She often spoke of how much she missed him, still after the years he's been gone.
Damn straight, I'm going to the funeral, whenever that shall be, in Oklahoma. There's a blizzard going on right now, with 2-5 feet of snow predicted. Definitely not leaving today, but as soon as I know what the plans are for the family, my plan is to be there for a final farewell and try to support the family in whatever way possible. I'll probably stay in touch with Treasa &/or Etainne, to keep ya'll posted, once I'm on the road.
With that, kids - if ya got 'em, go hug your mother & MIL. Every hug counts and someday, you'll be glad that you did.
*Note to Death: that's 3, so leave me the fuc alone!*
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Seeing Stars
For as long as I remember, it's always been fun and fascinating to look to the heavens and watch the stars. I've enjoyed the privilege of viewing stars through some mighty telescopes and hope to someday save enough moolah to buy a nice one for personal use. No, not for peering in my neighbor's windows, but to reacquaint myself with this old pasttime of stargazing. In the meantime, I found a wonderful website that has all sorts of cool tools for anyone who shares my fondness for all things astronomical. I'm going to eventually check out the movie, too... that is mentioned on this site. The neat thing they offer here is a cool real-time star chart, and you can even locate a star that coincides with your birthday... check it out, kids.
Hope you find it as heavenly as I find it.
Seeing in the Dark
Hope you find it as heavenly as I find it.
Seeing in the Dark
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)